Who Is Paul Altobelli?

I'm saucy. I enjoy smoking incredibly expensive cigars that I can't afford. Bubble gum is my favorite food. I like baseball, golf and football - that's it when it comes to sports. If you see me near where you are, stop and say "hi." Do not move again until I am safely past. Then you may continue on your way. Do NOT turn around and look at me from behind. No. I like snow. On a more personal note, and it may be none of your business, I rarely read and enjoy hobbies such as doing strange things to my cat with a fork and living like the biggest pig you ever saw. I don't care that much about most things. Unfortunately, I still live in New Jersey.